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So, a situation once started, rapidly goes from bad to worse. Many women, during pregnancy, or even many who are taking contraceptive measures such as the contraceptive pill feel less inclined to participate in the intimate side of marriage, and the sex act becomes either a chore or entirely devoid of satisfaction. Instead of seeing the doctor and doing something about it (and it is quite possible to get help in the form of medication these days), they grumble, feel sorry for themselves, and hate their partners all the more. Thus the marital situation deteriorates.

Psychologically, hate readily breeds hate. It can smoulder on silently, but may flare up often. Inevitably, matters become worse and worse. Fights develop. Dissension, lack of feeling, lack of consideration for each other, bring about the inevitable breach.

When sex does occur, it is often solely for male gratification. The more this occurs, the less the wife enjoys it. Often it may make her feel off-colour or quite ill. It may even hurt. With little emotional interest, this can reflexly aggravate the condition. If pregnancy is present, this may make it even worse. Aware that the domestic situation is in a bad way, the husband often feels aggrieved, and will go out of his way to find satisfaction in other sources. It may be sexually, but often he resorts to alcoholic excesses in an attempt to make him feel a real man (in his own eyes and those of his acquaintances). If he only knew, it invariably makes him look more of an idiot than a man.

All this does little to help the domestic front. Arriving home often late, disheveled, and frequently devoid of a good part of his weekly pay packet (alcohol is not cheap, and poker machines and cigarettes are expensive luxuries at present also), he is not very welcome. There is a cold shoulder, an empty fridge, and a disgruntled spouse who is in no mood for fulfilling his sexual desires (demands?), or even giving him a kindly word.

More fights inevitably result. The situation often stumbles on, going from bad to worse. Sometimes the addition of a new baby will temporarily ease the problems, but almost invariably the couple will get off on the wrong track again.




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